I am in anguish

Lord, I am in anguish,

I cannot forget the Ani before the tornado,
yet I cannot use her as a benchmark for the current Ani.
Why must I think of Ani as 2 different persons?
How much of her is "in there", God?
How much should I talk about singing? About dancing?
Does "never giving up on Ani" mean that I won't be satisfied until she can do what the old Ani could do?
Where would she be satisfied?
I can certainly still laugh all the way down to my heart with Ani.
I love her more every day, and tell her so.
Oh that I could love Ani as simply as Micah does,
I am burdened with more knowledge than he has.

Back when..,

I remember silly jokes, daddy requests and songs,
Back when my girl could talk.

I remember twirling till I was dizzy, pushing till it seemed the swingset would collapse,
Back when my girl could move.

I remember the world looking different, colors more vibrant, and noticing things I would have overlooked,
Back when my girl could see.

I remember the hugs, the kisses, changing diapers and brushing teeth,
Back when I could hold my boy.

I remember seeing myself,
Back when I could see my boy.


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So many things Ani

There are so many things I want to show you Ani,
But some of them are no longer accessible or pertinent.

There are so many activities I want to participate in with you,
But some of them are irrelevant now.

However, you already share so much with me, love of family, love of music, etc. I promise to try not to dwell on things irrelevant, but on things that can be dear to you.


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While my...

I see my girl, and I notice she's lonely,
While my guitar gently weeps.

I see my girl, and I notice she's hurting,
While my guitar gently bleeds.

I see my girl, and I notice she's crying,
While my guitar gently suffers.

I see my girl, and I notice she's broken,
While my guitar gently twinges.

I see my girl, and I see my girl yet,
Still my guitar gently weeps.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad