Sleep

Sleep, Ani, sleep.
I've always got your medicines ready.
Rest, gather your strength.
There's no responsibilities for you to worry about.
Heal, incorporate your successes from yesterday.
I'll always notice your victories.
Wake when you're ready.
I'll be at your side.
I'll carry you through the day.
I'll keep you under my wing.
Part of me is always watching over you.

Confusion

There are times when a part of me scolds the other parts of me for living my life, having fun. Why am I not totally sacrificial?  I know I need to feed myself too, grow, learn. My ongoing grief drags me under water. I feel guilty sometimes for "daring to take time to learn Violin".  

It's not fair.

It's not fair. Just saying. 

I see the homework emails from Ani's teacher...I want to be doing these with Ani. She can't write a book report or do research. Oh God, we are just trying to get a good "Yes/No" indication from her. 

It's not fair. I want it to be different. 

Ok. I'm done, had to get that out.