Monday, November 10, 2008
The enormity..
Sometimes, the enormity of what has happened hits me, and I just feel exhausted. I know that I can't live in the past, but it saddens me so much to see simple pictures of Ani when she was much younger, even a baby, and she could do so much more than she can right now when she's 5. I want my baby to be able to play again, I want her to sing again, I even want her to be naughty again.
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She will be. I'm sure of it. She is making more and more sounds, she is starting to figure out how to swallow again -- it takes a lot of time for the brain to reinvent itself, but it has an astounding capacity for doing so. She won't ever be the girl she would have been -- but no one is ever the person they would have been had life taken them down a different path. The important thing is that she is Annika Prindle, a beautiful, loving girl who is growing, enjoying life, and expanding her mind. She's even popular at school. ;-) And she is yours. There is something profoundly wonderful about that.
In the meantime, it's a marathon for you and Christy. Kid's cope amazingly well with really serious medical problems. Their parents, not so much. It's our job as parents to worry, to look ahead for obstacles, and help guide our children. For children with extra challenges, that's a lot to deal with. Let the Lord guide you, and walk with you. Ani might not have the future you envisioned -- but children never do. They always surprise us. That's their job. ;-) I think she'll surprise you a lot, and make you very proud someday.
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