Some of you know our Christmas tradition, with respect to Nate. One of us (Christy and I) will buy an ornament, and the other will donate in Nate's name. This year it was my turn to donate. In the past, I have donated to the model train museum in St. Paul, and to a steam locomotive restoration project in the southeast. This year, I donated to KinderGartens, Ani and Nate's old daycare.
In my mind's eye, I remember greeting each child with "I'm so happy to see you!", and racing them to the door (I always lost). I know that I told my children that I loved them every day many times, and that they knew that. I just can't help wanting to have said one last "I love you" to Nate. It hurts my heart so much that he was alone, and I couldn't say goodbye.
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