Two questions I live with...I want to know the answer to both of them. One answer will be slowly revealed to me as I grow older, and the other answer I won't totally understand until after I die.
The answer to be revealed is "How far will Ani heal?", which is the more important of the two questions. There is nothing I wouldn't give to have Ani healed. Short of that, I want to know how to plan for Ani's future, and provide an interesting and challenging life that is appropriate to her condition at any time. I suffer when I think that she might be bored, trapped in this body, unable to express herself. Self expression was a defining characteristic of Ani before the accident. Of all things in this world, I want to hear Ani's opinions, complaints, jokes, arguments, etc.
The other answer that I won't totally understand is the answer to the question, "Why?". Rationally, intellectually, even spiritually, I believe that it was random chance. However, when I look at Ani, or suffer at the absence of Nate in my life, rationality goes out the window. Why Ani? Certainly she never deserved it. The answer will more likely be in the form that the question "Why?" just doesn't even make sense to ask in this situation. However, even given all that, it still doesn't help.
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