At once

At once, it's too hard, too ironic
for my heart to handle.
In the middle of our new house,
where we're accepting the start of our new life,
struggling to let go of our old, wonderful one,
I am forced to throw away things that remind me.
Remind me of our play, remind me of our laughing.
I'm not throwing Ani or Nate away, just physical things.
But all at once, it hits me how it feels like
I'm tossing things out.
My memory and love must persist,
I cling to them with all my might.
I will see them again, restored,
Nate in heaven,
Ani maybe here, certainly in heaven.
1000 years may seem like a day in heaven,
but a day seems like 1000 years without
your child.