Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Another balancing act...
So, now Mom's in a nursing home, Ani needs me, Christy needs me, and I monitor the new house's status. There's no particular answer to my dilemma, but how often should I go visit Mom? I both want to, and not want to (so sorry to all you English language pros out there) at the same time. I want to go each day, but am I taking time away from Ani and Christy (and work too)? Others say that I need to do things for myself too. I know that the situation is fluid, and that changes come around that make it so that no particular apportion of time is possible. I also don't want to just wait until I feel guilty about _not_ visiting Mom, 'cause then I'll just feel guilty a lot. The easy answer is something along the lines of "go as often as you feel necessary for you or Mom". I guess that's something similar to "wait until you feel guilty", except it's more of an active thing, rather than passive. I want to go often so that Mom hears me and knows that I believe in her. I really wish she could tell me how often to come, but that doesn't work. I'm working on what feels right to me, and it probably doesn't occupy as much of my mind as this post implies. Part of writing here in this blog is to facilitate getting things out of the background recesses of my mind to the forefront where at least I can view them. All of you are just along for the ride...
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2 comments:
Jerry,
I think that you are doing everything that you can do and everything that is right. I pray that God gives you strength, perseverance, and hope.
Let me know if I can do anything for you!
Steve
I'd like to second that. You're doing an amazing job, Jerry, and everybody's praying for you and your family. Anything we can do too, just ask.
Get through one day at a time. It's not a sprint. It's not even a marathon, or any kind of a race, so you can just concentrate on where you are for now. Don't worry about work; that's way less important. You've got the right perspective on things, I think, and you seem to be striking a good balance between these things. You're a good son; of course you want to visit her every day. That's good. And you want to be there for Ani and Christy too, and that's good too. You'll never be able to visit your mother as much as you'd like, and you shouldn't wait until you feel guilty, or you'll just be beating yourself up about it. So the answer must be somewhere in the middle. Go when you can, taking into account your own needs and the needs of your wife and daughter, and when you can't, maybe say a prayer so your mind can still be with her.
Hang in there, man.
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