How can you be gone???

Nate, it hits me once in a while...
How can you be gone?
It just doesn't compute with me.
You're not gone from my heart,
You're not gone from my head,
You're not gone, your toys and clothes are still here.
I don't know how to wait patiently until I see you again.
I just want to see you, to hold you, to serve you.
To stop crying for one day.
To hear Ani talk to me,
To have Ani take my hand.
Nate, I remember you kissing Ani goodnight,
and thinking how loving you were here on earth.
I, with my limited earthly perception,
do not know how to just keep in mind your heavenly home.
I _want_ to cut your food.
I _want_ to change your diaper.
I _want_ to watch Thomas over and over again.
I _don't_ want your dependence on me, I just want to serve you.
Since I became a daddy, that's all I want to do.