How did Micah get like Ani?

Christy was telling that Micah was doing a sing-song sort of prayer the other night.
Kinda looking up with his eyes half-closed, fluttering, with this "over-emotive" sort of look on his face.
Singing: "Iiiiii loooooovvvveeee myyyyyy familyyyyyyyyyyy", waving his arms dramatically.

I can close my eyes, and perfectly picture Ani behaving EXACTLY this way. Micah has started to sing (better than Ani), and is very interested in the instruments that Christy and I play. We have this "March around the house" game we play, but before we start marching, Micah makes us all get instruments (percussion). It's so cool that he considers holding an instrument just a natural part of expressing yourself. I am so excited to watch him grow. He has such emotional depth, and so much to say.

Ani has touched so many...

I just found out, in a roundabout way, that Ani's pediatrician at Gillette "Has a special place in his heart for Ani". I've spoken with him many times, and he is a great guy, and a great doctor. He is an incredible "active listener". He fully believes that "Ani is in there", and he has complimented us on being a big art of her recovery.
We've gotten notes from Church and school on how they love Ani being with them.
I am humbled by how Ani has affected and enhanced people's lives. I am truly grateful for her. I am truly grateful to be able to tell her directly that I love her, and see her big smile. She is so much more than how she looks on the outside. I know that she'll continue to affect people throughout her life.
I really want to stay by her side and see how she changes this world.

If you could see inside me, my children.

My children, if you could see inside me, see just a part of my heart, you would understand.
My words are inadequate.
My songs are inadequate.
My hugs are inadequate.
If you could peek inside my heart, you would see the love and warmth there that would surprise you with its intensity.
You would never feel cold inside.
You would never feel alone.
You would never feel like nobody cares.
You are, in a way, an extension of my heart.
You take me with you wherever you go.
Having said that, it's not me that I want people to see when they meet you.
No, your own heart is what is apparent.
And I am immensely proud when your own inner warmth shows to others.
Proud to be a partner with you.

Enemies

I just heard a coworker talking to another coworker about the Boston bombing.
This man had fought in the Iraq (2nd) war.
He kept going on and on that that we have enemies that want to kill us.
He said that as much as the "liberal bumper stickers want to say otherwise", this is the reality of our situation.
That we need to remain vigilant.

Well.
That's all as may be, but I would like to interject a little rational thinking.
We currently have no idea who performed the bombing.
What purpose does it serve to even begin down a path like this?
It furthers only fear and hatred. What would he say if it was a domestic terrorist?
If a domestic terrorist, what if this person is conservative or liberal? Or just anti-government?
I'm not saying that we should lighten our search, or that feelings of anger are not to be expected...
I'm just saying vigilance can coexist with love. Vigilance does not require hatred or fear for fuel.

My last image of you.

Nate, what was my last image of you?
Did I see you after I shooed Ani toward Mommy?
I remember you at my right side, looking out the back window at Ani's swing set.
Wondering if it would need rebuilding again.
I remember you going around the other side of the couch when I went to the front window.
Why wasn't the couch against the wall? It was spring, no need for the fireplace anymore.
Why didn't you take the same way as me?
I saw it.
I yelled.
I shooed.
I turned around to get you...what then?
Within a second there was blackness.
Did I see you after I turned around?
Am I blocking the memory?
I remember blackness.
Blackness, rolling and tumbling like some evil waterfall.
I wish I had known to yell goodbye.
I hope you knew I was near you.
I hope you knew how much I loved, and still love you.
As complete as my life can ever become again here on Earth,
I can never achieve as much as I could have, were I still to be your father.

Nate's jammies...

Just last night, I got one of Nate's pajama tops from friends of ours that just discovered it. Christy didn't want to see it, but I did. I took it, and now it's in my picture box at work. I'm just wondering if anybody has a suggestion on what I should do with it. Anything creative from somebody?

Ani's wish

A few days ago, I was playing for Ani during bedtime, and I had my electric guitar, but it wasn't plugged in. I played close to Ani so she could hear the guitar, since it wasn't amped. I noticed that she seemed quite interested in me playing closer. After a few questions, I got the indication that she wanted me to play close to her. I did this last night, thinking that she was interested in seeing me play my guitar, but she wasn't. She spent most of the time looking into my eyes. It kinda made me make a few mistakes as I realized that she wanted ME closer, not my guitar. All this time I was telling her that every note I play and every note I sing says "I love you Ani", she wanted to tell me she loved me by looking into my eyes.

I'll be playing close to her from now on.