Back to school

Let me start this post with this: I pray for all children going back to school.

Having said this, it's difficult, in my soul, to see the pictures on Facebook of all the kids going back to school. All of them full of smiles, wearing their new backpacks. Nobody has to be sorry about posting the pictures.

I remember Ani's first day, as I cried while wheeling her to the special bus. I watched as the lift took her up, and the attendant Knowing that she wouldn't be able to speak to new friends, or play on the playground.
I'll never remember Nate's first day at school, he'll never have it.
Ever since Ani was born, I've been looking forward to questions from my children like "Why is the sky blue?", "Why is the Sun yellow?", "What are the stars?", and I only got a couple like that from Ani. Certainly I'll get these questions from Micah, and to be sure, I've already told Ani the answers. I ache, because even at 2.5 years old, I knew Nate was going to be a lot like me, and I'll never get to answer his questions.