All of me in her, Lord.

Sleep, my child...
Gather your strength.
Face this world when you can.
God, be with her as she rests.
Give her comfort.
Give her strength.
Give her healing.
Give her resolve.
For I need recharging also,
and _all_ my requests start with
her, and not for myself.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

What I'm doing

I try, I really try to forget everything sometimes...
Well, that's not really true...
I try to not let all this define who I am...
Well, that's not really true either...
I try to not let everything overwhelm me.
Yeah, that's what I do.
For small amounts of time, I find diversions.
Diversions that relieve me of the sadness.
That relieve me of the huge responsibilities.
Let's face it, while what happened doesn't _define_ me,
I am a product of all I've been through.
Friends remind me sometimes of thing's I've said in my past,
like in high school, and I wonder who that was?
Who was I before all this?
I am who I am, and I'm trying so hard to keep learning,
to keep bettering myself with respect to my relating to others.
I can't let myself weaken, for Ani's sake,
for Micah's sake,
for Christy's sake.
That doesn't mean that I can't be tender,
or even vulnerable, just that I can't stop
seeking hope, seeking peace, seeking inner strength.

Yell!

Rail! Yell! Deny!
He's never coming back. Accept it.
No! Not right!
Her recovery will be incremental and likely limited.
Rage! Flail!
You should be "over it".

Look Up, for Peace is available.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Difficult week

It's been a difficult week, and I am weary: physically, emotionally and spiritually...

Ani has been uncomfortable for some reason, and this suppresses the advances that I've seen in the past couple weeks, and what I've been excited for her to show to her teachers and classmates at school in this new school year. It's very hard when small setbacks are capable of overshadowing very exciting victories, even victories that seem small in scope. God I pray that she feels better and can show her teachers what she can do, and can grow from her victories.

Micah has been showing "aggressive toddler" behavior for some time now, and this has resulted in his friends at daycare being somewhat afraid of him, and blaming him for things that happen even if he is not there. I know that this behavior is "normal" for toddlers, but he is so strong that he has caused injuries. This makes me sad for both him _and_ the other kids. God I pray that you show me what I might be doing wrong in parenting Micah, what I can be doing more in parenting Micah, and for giving Micah an increased sense of empathy for his friends.

Miss you...

Happy birthday Mom. I miss you. I miss talking about anything with you.

Micah, I'm glad you forgive me. :)

With all we go through together, being Daddy and 2-year-old...Micah I'm glad you still have smiles and hugs and "Daddy!!!" for me.