Grace is such a difficult concept to receive. As a parent, I understand giving it, but have difficulty receiving it. A recent sermon points me to think that we aren't supposed to wallow in our guilt over things we've done (or are _going_ to do), but to seek God's grace and strive to give the same to our world. I've also been feeling guilty about not practicing my violin since July.
My teacher took the summer off, and I guess that I did too. I had certainly been improving, but maybe not at the rate I wanted? Maybe I expected too much, being a guitarist already, anyway I felt guilty at not practicing more. You can imagine how guilty I felt over not practicing all summer. It's weird, I feel good playing the violin, but there's this resistance I feel. Anyway, I finally confessed to my teacher, and while not saying it, hinted that stopping might be a possibility. Maybe I didn't even realize that I might have been implying that, but my teacher did. She stressed (pun intended) that the violin can be source of peace. I agree. Also, she told me that she thought I had a talent, and actually had shown impressive progress after having just started it in May. All of this kinda melted away the guilt and weight I had. Now I want to play again. She told me that we could structure my lessons to require less outside practice (Micah and Ani wear me out and I just crash at night).
This was just a incredible show of grace. She's certainly not getting rich off of the lessons (they are really quite cheap), she really has a passion for teaching.
So, I don't need to fixate on the ugliness of my mistakes in life, or some of the "ugly sounds" from my violin. I just need to keep going forward.
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1 comment:
So much wisdom in this post. I often stop doing something because it isn't perfect or is quite "ugly" but really it is about just moving forward. Continuing on. Thanks!
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