Even as my heart,

Even as my heart fills, Lord,
with Ani's minor advances,
her smiles,
her laughter,
it is draining away.
Even as it fills with Micah,
and his loving eyes and embraces,
it aches Lord.
Even as I talk with Ani about
eternity dancing and singing with God, Nate and her,
my heart is heavy.
Heavy with the pain of separation from Nate.
Heavy with the burden of Ani's injury,
and her favorite things in life denied her.
God, I pray for a glimpse of heaven,
to ease my heart while I am here on Earth.
God, I pray for the confidence it takes
to lay all my burdens at your feet in the name of Jesus.
God, I serve, and will continue to serve you
and my family to my best ability.
But I fail sometimes.
I don't listen to your Spirit sometimes,
and my failures cut me deeply.
I know you are the God of "Second Chances"...
Give me the heart to grant myself more chances.