That's the question that Ani asked in my dream. So, obviously, it's really me asking. I've been thinking about this a lot. I think it's associated with an experience I had with Ani driving home from shopping with her. Here I'm telling her that I enjoy just _being_ with her, I love her no matter what she can do or what she can't do. But in the next instant, after I've finished speaking, I feel low, pulled down by the weight of her disabilities. "Which smile holds my future": I know that in some ways this question means "What face do I put on when I'm with Ani to help her get to her future", but on other levels I understand that it's about ME too. How do I choose to face the future with her? What face do I put on to help ME get through this? I need to be strong, faithful, and hopeful for both of us, not just Ani. If I'm not helping to strengthen myself, how can I hope to help strengthen Ani?
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