What I'm doing

I try, I really try to forget everything sometimes...
Well, that's not really true...
I try to not let all this define who I am...
Well, that's not really true either...
I try to not let everything overwhelm me.
Yeah, that's what I do.
For small amounts of time, I find diversions.
Diversions that relieve me of the sadness.
That relieve me of the huge responsibilities.
Let's face it, while what happened doesn't _define_ me,
I am a product of all I've been through.
Friends remind me sometimes of thing's I've said in my past,
like in high school, and I wonder who that was?
Who was I before all this?
I am who I am, and I'm trying so hard to keep learning,
to keep bettering myself with respect to my relating to others.
I can't let myself weaken, for Ani's sake,
for Micah's sake,
for Christy's sake.
That doesn't mean that I can't be tender,
or even vulnerable, just that I can't stop
seeking hope, seeking peace, seeking inner strength.